by loqueesesencial
suddenly i’ve lost
the edge of your cheek
in the beds we’ve shared like children,
oh how you turned
into me and over and away
i told you to leave
i shouted
i had spent all night vomiting and my face was paper dry
in the mirror i was shrinking
the ripening of the day fell against your hair
do you know, i needed you to stay
and i told you to leave
and i know i hurt you
but i would have liked you to scream,
to say NO, I WON’T
but you had to go, and you left
and that night i had a nightmare where i disassociated
and a monster as big as a building was chasing all of us
and when i woke up the world was so many things dropping one by one at my feet
and i hadn’t eaten in a week
dead cats were appearing on the street
i was saving egg shells for a project on decay
that i never ever started
